Julia A. Trebing, Psy.D., IBCPT- Professor., AAETS – Diplomate
20 Applebee Road, Stamford, CT 06905
‘ LOOK, LISTEN and DO GAME’
stand firm (insist)
see it through (follow through)
- Say his/her name one time
- Then with no repetition be quiet
- Be calm and wait for eye contact
- Reinforce by smiling when you get it
2. “Please _________________________________________________________.”
- Make directive(s) (not questions, no options) one sentence or less, sometimes a single word such as “Dinner” or “Teeth” is all that is necessary.
- Be specific, and request one direction at a time (break down into the smallest parts).
- Use non-verbal language such as gestures to increase understanding.
- If you do not get the requested response say, “What did I tell you to do?” This requires the child to process rather than tune out your repetitive requests.
- A child may respond to “What did I tell you to do?” by simply doing what was requested. If not we will now be able to gather information such as whether the difficulty is behavior, hearing or processing.
- If it is a behavior challenge you may chose to: say “That’s one” if you are using the 1-2-3 Magic Technique (see separate hand-out/video). Or you can gently assist him/her by the hand or by picking up a younger child. Simply moving towards your child with the intention of assisting can result in your request being followed.
- You are developing the discipline of meaning what you say. Your child is learning the important life skill of listening and following instructions.
3. “Thank-you, followed by a positive, upbeat, reflection such as “you did that the first time I asked” is said when he/she has done what you told him/her to do.
- Use genuine enthusiasm and reinforce with your approval, tone, smile, high five, hug.
- Avoid the tendency to complain about any aspects you did not like (ignore to extinct)
- Avoid non-descriptive words such as “good” and “nice.”
- Be specific about what you liked based on what you want more of (focus on to reinforce).
- Remember, you will get more of whatever you put your attention/energy on so focus on positive traits such as eye contact, manners, and speed.
Be silent in between steps.
Be within a maximum of three feet from your child. This close proximity is paramount to your ability to follow through and be successful with this technique.
Practice daily, three times in a row, playfully requesting more and more challenging skills, such as by requesting one then two then three behaviors before child begins.
Your consistency and follow-through are key to the success of this technique.